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 Post subject: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 17 Nov 2009 14:24 
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Folks, ai haven't used English for years. The purpose of this topic is to practise English Writing through various kinds of topic. Please feel free and come to join practice on Analytical Writing both Analysis of an Argument and Analysis of an Issue, or any ways&styles as you'd like. If you have interesting topics, wanna share ideas, etc., please post them here.Thank you. :dolphin: :dolphin:

Rules:
1. State the number of topic you are sharing your idea.
2. Here, we won't pay any attention on grammar or spellings (right or wrong), just your ideas that we want to read.

Here comes the first topic of today (17 Nov 2009)

1. A study of marital relationships in which one partner's sleeping and waking cycles differ from those of the other partner reveals that such couples share fewer activities with each other and have more violent arguments than do couples in a relationship in which both partners follow the same sleeping and waking patterns. Thus, mismatched sleeping and waking cycles can seriously jeopadize a marriage.


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 18 Nov 2009 22:04 
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It sounds interesting (especially when you mentioned nothing to do with wrong gramma! cuz it fits my broken english :hihi: )

"Pass" for today as so exhausted that can't think of any topic.

But I will... definitely when an idea comes up!

Cheers!

ps. this board's so quiet. don't be surprised if it takes months for just one coming reply or a new topic! lol


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 19 Nov 2009 04:08 
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Hi Top,

Thanks for your coming. ai do too.

The atmosphere that you told about this board, make me imagine a scene of a young boy sitting somewhere near the entrance of a remote village. He welcomed me and told like yours. Yes, ai may like social life, but for creative things such as reading(ai means to create pic follow what ai'm reading), and/or writing, ai prefer quiet or peaceful places. Here may be a new secret place to do so.

If you have any topic, please feel free to post. If ai have idea or opinion to share, ai will.

Another point, someone or some test-makers told that the test doesn't measure knowledge on the topics, but test the analytical ideas or something like that. Do you, and other readers who may visit this page, think the repliers can analyze the topic or even express their ideas on the said topic without any knowledge on the topic? For me, ai'm afraid not.
:dolphin: :dolphin:


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 20 Nov 2009 01:27 
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I used to routinely check on this board and, sometimes when there were things I could respond to, make several posts. Later on, though, I just gave up coming here. There's nothing new and nobody seemed keen on having a visit. I'd say the exact same thing with khun ท้อป. :ummm:

Anyways, enough with the tiring digression. For the first topic about couples with different rest hours and their sequential fights, I'd say it doesn't come out as a big surprise. When you don't share enough experience with your SO, knowing less and less of things going on in his/her life, unquestionably, it'd bruise the relationship of you two.

Hope that's not too short. I'm not so good with classy elaboration. For many times, it turns out lousy when I try to put long, fancy words together.

Moving on to the next topic...

ai' wrote:
Do you think the repliers can analyze the topic or even express their ideas on the said topic without any knowledge on the topic?


I'm not sure how clueless you intended to say by "without any knowledge". If it's like a situation in which you're discussing medical science and the ones taking part specialized in, let's say, engineering, then the results are pretty much predictable.

PS I'm not gonna start a topic right now as I can't think of any, and also because I wanna wait for khun
ท้อป's first. ^_^


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 23 Nov 2009 00:02 
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PrincePP wrote:
PS I'm not gonna start a topic right now as I can't think of any, and also because I wanna wait for khun ท้อป's first. ^_^


555 don't wait for me. You might go ahead yours! :26:


ai' wrote:
..... Do you, and other readers who may visit this page, think the repliers can analyze the topic or even express their ideas on the said topic without any knowledge on the topic? For me, ai'm afraid not. :dolphin: :dolphin:


I'm not sure if I get your word completely. If you implied that I should have not post reply like the previous as it is not concerning the topic, please forgive me for that. :ohno: It's really no intention.

But if it is the direct question, I would say that it's depend on how seriously you prefer the answers come out. For me, some comments even without knowledge on that topic might be miracle!
I would prefer to hear from various sources and screen them myself if time allows. But if not, I will need only the cream ones.

Just my 2 cents!

Well I just feel like sharing my experience

Topic 1
Yes ! I agree with such conclusion eventhough I'm not married and still a single in this lonely city (hence available 7/24 for any kind person of good personality :hihi: ).

Why do I said so? cuz I used to work odd hours (mostly at night) at the airport and it's very bad. I couldn't adjust my body system to it and sleep in all the time!

And it ruined the relationship! not to mention a girl or boyfriend, I could not find the matched time with my friends.


So we hanged out less and everything began to fade!


Eventhough I tried to wake myself hanging out with them their time but it's not fun at all cuz I was too worn down. And fewer joint activities, fewer topics to talks!

Turning eyes to the marital relationship, I believe that this leads to broken relationship at last. How you keep your loving tree growing up when you have no time to nitrate it.


This is just my assumption na krub. ^_^


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 05 Dec 2009 20:46 
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Hi Khun Top, Khun PrincePP , and dear readers,

Very very sorry for late posting of English writing. ai've been busy with routine working and life, but real reason is that ai dare not to write English and have no detailed idea for this topic. The more relactance ai have, the worse ai can write. It's not the matter of how good or bad ai can write, but it is the matter of decision making to write NOW.

Frankly speaking(really writing 555), ai hate
writing English(how comes!!!). The real reason forces me to pretend fond of writing of English is that ai have to prepare for GMAT writing which ai plan to take exam in January next 2010 !!!

You will realise from my writing below that my English is such a kind of the worst writing you have ever seen in your life. ai don't want to disppoint you, my respected readers, but ai have to do so. You may have any advice for GMAT writing, please feel free to do so as well.
Thank you and again sorry for late posting.


ai' wrote:
Folks, ai haven't used English for years. The purpose of this topic is to practise English Writing through various kinds of topic. Please feel free and come to join practice on Analytical Writing both Analysis of an Argument and Analysis of an Issue, or any ways&styles as you'd like. If you have interesting topics, wanna share ideas, etc., please post them here.Thank you. :dolphin: :dolphin:

Rules:
1. State the number of topic you are sharing your idea.
2. Here, we won't pay any attention on grammar or spellings (right or wrong), just your ideas that we want to read.

Here comes the first topic of today (17 Nov 2009)

1. A study of marital relationships in which one partner's sleeping and waking cycles differ from those of the other partner reveals that such couples share fewer activities with each other and have more violent arguments than do couples in a relationship in which both partners follow the same sleeping and waking patterns. Thus, mismatched sleeping and waking cycles can seriously jeopadize a marriage.


The purpose of marriage is to become one, to share spending time together nearly all everything in couple life such as love, sex, understanding, sympathy,
grieve, problem-solving, having babies, visit parent's family, going to parties and so on. The difference on sleeping and waking cycles of marriage couple, in case of one partner works during daytime and his/her partner works on night shift, is not only block the couple from doing activities together but also deteriolate the in-between understanding of the said couple. For example, while one partner is working, his/ her partner is sleeping. Even they may have dinner together before one is going to work and one is going to bed, but they may lack or have less sex together or may have in a rush. Because sex of couple life is not like that of rape, it is love-sharing, time-spended activity of marriage couple. Moreover, they share less time together as if they are still single, his/her couple does not stand-by for him/ her or is not ready in good mood to help.
They may miss learning on self-adjustment to couple life and may have more violent arguments since they have less time to study each other and lack understanding how to cope with each other when quarrel. The worst is that they may spend free time and share sympathy with working collegues or any third parties who may intentionally or unintentionaly have chance to interfere and destroy their marriage life. It is reasonable to sum up that the mismatched sleeping and waking cycles can seriously jeopadize a marriage.


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 06 Dec 2009 05:43 
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I don't have any experience with GMAT writing krub, but I had an experience with the GRE from which I may be able to help you a little bit. Actually, I'm not very good at English writing (and so speaking, listening, reading 5555), so I'm sure if my comment can help you na krub.

I think you need an organization to make the essay easier to follow and understand. You can improve it by separating your ideas into paragraphs i.e. introduction, body, and conclusion with a clear and strong topic sentence for each paragraph. It's a good writing krub, but If you want an academic style, you need to have a good organization krub. I would suggest starting with the introduction saying that this issue is important and you agree with it. Then you support with the first idea about the sex life in one paragraph and time spent together in the other. In the end, you may conclude by reaffirming your ideas briefly that they really ruin the marriage.

ai' wrote:
For example, while one partner is working, his/ her partner is sleeping.

I would like to suggest that this example doesn't really give any clearer idea or picture because it just repeat what you have said in previous sentence. You can add some more specific detail to make it a really good example krub.

In general, you may try to lengthen you essay, add some strong idea and good supporting details, and correct some minor grammatical errors krub.



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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 06 Dec 2009 11:29 
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Little Prince wrote:
I don't have any experience with GMAT writing krub, but I had an experience with the GRE from which I may be able to help you a little bit. Actually, I'm not very good at English writing (and so speaking, listening, reading 5555), so I'm sure if my comment can help you na krub.


Dear Little Prince,

Thank you very much for your valuable comment. Your English is better, quite a very smooth writing, good organisation, and good idea. You may not sense your better improvement, it's really far different from what ai used to read yours formerly. (like it turns up side down 555)

Congratulations !! :dolphin: :dolphin:

ai will try my best krub. Please come to check and leave comment again. THANK YOU Krub.


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009 00:32 
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I would like to participate this class if you can correct my grammar and criticize a style of writing apart from just sharing some ideas.
I won't mind or take any offence at what you are going to correct my English, truthfully.


Last edited by kedinvent on 08 Dec 2009 15:45, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009 16:38 
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ai' wrote:
Frankly speaking(really writing 555), ai hate
writing English(how comes!!!). The real reason forces me to pretend fond of writing of English is that ai have to prepare for GMAT writing which ai plan to take exam in January next 2010 !!!

You will realise from my writing below that my English is such a kind of the worst writing you have ever seen in your life. ai don't want to disppoint you, my respected readers, but ai have to do so. You may have any advice for GMAT writing, please feel free to do so as well.
Thank you and again sorry for late posting.


So that's why you put up this topic.

GMAT, eh? I've never for once applied for it. Experiences of my own involving major English assessment tests were 3 times of CU-TEP (a test held by CU, equating to TOEFL) and 1 time of CU-AAT (this one is a CU version of SAT I). So my help would be confined to notifying some evident grammatical and vocabulary-related errors I might've detected, joining you in writing as usual, offering topics, and no GMAT know-how (hope I could still better your writing this way :ummm: )

Alright, from here on, I'll be stating your mistakes I've caught by far. But, on top of everything, keep in mind that my corrections can otherwise be wrong or fruitless, as I doubt my skills are in superiority of yours (cheer up, your writing is soooooooo not the worst I've seen, better than mine, at the very least), and English is rather a flexible language. DOUBLE-CHECKING IS HIGHLY ADVISED.


17 Nov 2009
• The purpose of this topic is to practise English Writing through various kinds of topics.

• Here, we won't pay any attention to grammar or spellings (right or wrong), just your ideas that we want to read.
..If you're to focus on something, it is to pay attention to it. There are other cases in which "to" isn't supposed to be used, for example, when you are at a certain place and you're focusing, it could be "I'm trying my best to pay hefty attention in the Advanced Auditing class." But since yours is of the first, "to" would be the proper conjunction.

................................................................................................................................


19 Nov 2009
• The atmosphere that you told about this board, makes me imagine a scene of a young boy sitting somewhere near the entrance of a remote village.

• If ai have ideas or opinions to share, ai will. or If ai have an idea or an opinion to share, ai will.
..The word "opinion" could be uncountable with the meaning of "beliefs or views of a group of people". This one of yours doesn't fit the category, right?

• Another point, someone or some test-makers told that the test doesn't measure knowledge on the topics, but tests the analytical ideas or something like that.

................................................................................................................................


05 Dec 2009
• ai've been busy with routine working and life, but the real reason is that ai dare not to write English and have no detailed idea for this topic.

• The more reluctance ai have, the worse ai can write.

• The real reason that forces me to pretend fond of writing of English is that ai have to prepare for GMAT writing which ai plan to take *(remove "exam", the word "which" already indicates the object) in January next 2010 !!!

• ai don't want to disappoint you, my respected readers, but ai have to do so.
..This one's not on purpose, is it?

• The purpose of marriage is to become one, to share, to spend time together in nearly *(remove the word "all") everything in a couple's life such as love, sex, understanding, sympathy, grieve, problem-solving, having babies, visiting parent's family, going to parties and so on.
..Inspecting this one long sentence, it doesn't seem to go along with the so-called "parallelism." When giving a string of examples, you need to make sure the words are formed with identical methods. In this case, gerunds and common nouns should be parted into two clauses or sentences. (Parallelism doesn't cover solely on how to suitably create a series of examples, try looking it up for a thorough explanation)

• The difference on sleeping and waking cycles of a marriage couple, in case of one partner works during daytime and his/her partner works on a night shift, does not only block the couple from doing activities together but also deteriorate the in-between understanding of the said couple.

• Even they may have dinner together before one is going to work and one is going to bed, *(remove "but" as the word "even" previously expressed the contrast) they may lack or have less sex together or may have been put in a rush.
..Wouldn't it sound better if it opens with "Even if they have dinner together..."?

• Because sex of a couple's life is not like that of rape, it is a love-sharing, time-spended activity of a marriage couple.
..The part "love-sharing, time-spended" sorta conflicts parallelism.

• Moreover, they share less time together as if they are still single, his/her couple does not stand by him/ her, is not ready or in a good mood to help.

• They may miss learning on self-adjustment of a couple's life and may have more violent arguments since they have less time to study each other and lack understanding on how to cope with each other when quarrel.

• The worst is that they may spend free time and share sympathy with working colleagues or any third parties who may intentionally or unintentionally have a chance to interfere and destroy their marriage life.
..How ironic, you unintentionally misspelled "unintentionally." (BTW, it's not necessary at all to say "working colleagues." "Colleagues" alone will suffice.)

................................................................................................................................


06 Dec 2009
• You may not sense your *(why bother putting "better" before "improvement"?) improvement, it's really far different from what ai used to read yours formerly.

................................................................................................................................


:haha: ROFL, I looked at this long, tedious comment and didn't feel like reading it myself. But not at all does it show that your writing is crappy. Most of them are trivial mistakes (you either forgot to precede certain nouns with articles, misused some basic conjunctions, or acceptably misspelled words). Fixing these inaccuracies would require you to be more careful when writing, that's all (but remember to find more about parallelism na krub).

Good luck enhancing your English krub.


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009 23:22 
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kedinvent wrote:
I would like to participate this class if you can correct my grammar and criticize a style of writing apart from just sharing some ideas.
I won't mind and take any offence at what you are going to correct my English, truthfully.


Hi kedinvent,

Thank you for your visit. Yeah, come to join
writing with us. We have teachers here to correct our English 555.
:dolphin: :dolphin:


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 07 Dec 2009 23:27 
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Dear Khun PrincePP,

Thank you for your correction krub.
For CU-TEP, ai have to take in Jan 2010 as well.
Your sharing on test taking experience will be much appreciated.
:dolphin: :dolphin:


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 08 Dec 2009 00:06 
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็Hello P' ai,
So surprised you raise this kind of topic.
If you still remember you once helped me complete my course assignment - the one you and other friends composed pieces of writing and commented on one another posts in my hi5 group.
I owe you a favour for that.
I'll come and share ideas when I have time.
For now I have to say goodnight :zzz: :zzz:
bye krub.


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 08 Dec 2009 15:36 
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teflon wrote:
็Hello P' ai,
So surprised you raise this kind of topic.
If you still remember you once helped me complete my course assignment - the one you and other friends composed pieces of writing and commented on one another posts in my hi5 group.
I owe you a favour for that.
I'll come and share ideas when I have time.
For now I have to say goodnight :zzz: :zzz:
bye krub.


Hi teflon,

Really forget, but big thanks to remind me of that. Then, please pay back double 555.

My worst is the organisation of writing. You may not notice it if it is a short writing, but obviously seen in the long writing which is my weak point. :dolphin: :dolphin:

Now, you become one of my English Teacher here. Thank you.


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 12 Dec 2009 03:57 
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2. "In some countries, television and radio programs are carefully censored for offensive language and behavior. In other countries, there is little or no censorship."
:dolphin: :dolphin:
In your view, to what extent should government or any other group be able to censor television or radio program ? Explain, giving relevant reasons and/or examples to support your position.
:dolphin: :dolphin:


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 12 Dec 2009 20:49 
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This topic is quite hard for me to discuss. :p


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 12 Dec 2009 23:25 
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kedinvent wrote:
This topic is quite hard for me to discuss. :p

It comes from GMAT : Analysis of an issue.
It's easier to think in Thai, but it's harder to write in English by academic analysis writing method krub. For me, it may takes months to finish writing on this topic 555. Anyway, let's try together.

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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 12 Dec 2009 23:25 
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ai' wrote:
kedinvent wrote:
This topic is quite hard for me to discuss. :p

It comes from GMAT : Analysis of an issue.
It's easier to think in Thai, but it's harder to write in English by academic analysis writing method krub. For me, it may takes months to finish writing this topic 555. Anyway, let's try together.

:dolphin: :dolphin:


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 13 Dec 2009 00:50 
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I was confused at first when I was about to discuss about this.
Now I get some ideas what the GMAT AWA looks like.
Give me some time and I'll write my essay soon.

PS. For anyone who wants to grasp details in AWA, have a look at this
http://www.admissionsconsultants.com/gmat/preparation.asp


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 13 Dec 2009 07:16 
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kedinvent wrote:
I was confused at first when I was about to discuss about this.
Now I get some ideas what the GMAT AWA looks like.
Give me some time and I'll write my essay soon.

PS. For anyone who wants to grasp details in AWA, have a look at this
http://www.admissionsconsultants.com/gmat/preparation.asp


Thank you for the above link. At the left lower corner of the first page, you will find a collection of handbook, the official guide issued by the Graduate Management Admission Council (GMAC), the creators of GMAT Test.

Here is another related link:
http://www.gmatclub.com


Do you have any shortcut preparation on Quantitative? For example, how to guess the answer without really calculate, let's say by probability means. FYI, ai come from language field not from science or math field. ai'm ok with percentage since ai always use it in woring life, but the left is all weak. Thank you in advance for your coming recommendation.
:dolphin: :dolphin:


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 13 Dec 2009 08:45 
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Quote:
Do you have any shortcut preparation on Quantitative? For example, how to guess the answer without really calculate, let's say by probability means.


I, actually, have to take USMLE not GMAT.
No idea about what you are saying, broke :p


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 13 Dec 2009 20:04 
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kedinvent wrote:
Quote:
Do you have any shortcut preparation on Quantitative? For example, how to guess the answer without really calculate, let's say by probability means.


I, actually, have to take USMLE not GMAT.
No idea about what you are saying, broke :p

Wow ! Yours is more difficult. Try your best na krub.
Now ai realise how useful the GMAT test is, ai gradually love and enjoy reading the prep books.
:dolphin: :dolphin:


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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 14 Dec 2009 19:47 
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Joined: 29 Jun 2008 13:30
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You're taking CU-TEP as well? I'm not sure it'll help much, but here's my advice.

For the listening part, it'll start out with short dialogues (one question with each dialogue) and then long ones toward the end (4-5 questions about one dialogue, if I'm not mistaken). Questions for the long conversations will be about small details mentioned in the dialogues, so try to memorize as much as you can. The short ones will focus more on idioms and wordplay, kinda like this.


A nameless character: So how's the trip, Vince?
Vince: Dave and I had to wait for hours just to get one vacant cab. The hotel service was awful and the townspeople are even worse. I wouldn't go there again even if all the expenses are taken care of. It's the worst holiday ever.
Dave: I couldn't agree more.

The question that follows would ask about what Dave said, whether he approved of Vince's idea or not. And I'm pretty sure some examinees will be misled by the part "couldn't agree more" and answer that Dave was not being supportive to Vince when it's actually the other way around. Anyways, just listen carefully, it's not that hard.
For both the reading part and the writing (error detection) part, try doing exercises and studying techniques to prepare yourself. (I don't know what to suggest with these two parts, to tell the truth.)

Now, about your second topic, I'm gonna quote Khun
kedinvent and note that "this topic is quite hard for me to discuss." I've tried my best but can still compose only one short paragraph. Anyways, comments and corrections are welcomed.

ai' wrote:
2. "In some countries, television and radio programs are carefully censored for offensive language and behavior. In other countries, there is little or no censorship."
:dolphin: :dolphin:
In your view, to what extent should government or any other group be able to censor television or radio program ? Explain, giving relevant reasons and/or examples to support your position.
:dolphin: :dolphin:


My comment would be to only edit out contents that are clearly obscene. I can only think of one sound reason to support it by far, and here it goes.

So as to actually notice the subtly offensive parts, audiences must have had some experiences with them before, knowing what they imply and so not being entirely affected in negative ways. Some of the songs that have been broadcast in the past few years, for instance, have verses with ambiguous meanings; children will interpret them to something utterly normal, but adults may find such lyrics rather inappropriate. Thus, even if those songs are released with no censoring involved, the odds of them being bad influences on the kids are very small, and the older group would already know, more or less, how to handle them. Suffice it to conclude that removing anything other than the obvious is of no use.


I am no prince,
I am no saint,
I am not anyone's wildest dream,
But I can stand behind
and be someone to fall back on.



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 Post subject: Re: Practice on Analytical Writing
PostPosted: 16 Dec 2009 19:25 
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ปริญญาตรี
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Joined: 20 Jan 2008 13:48
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PrincePP wrote:
You're taking CU-TEP as well? I'm not sure it'll help much, but here's my advice.


Khun PrincePP,

You're right. ai've scheduled CU-TEP test around the beginning of Jan 2010.
Thank for your recommendation on listening part which is my weakest point.
ai have a pink-cover TGRE guidebook for CU-TEP test, think it's a kind of practical handbook, better than have nothing.

Your writing and idea on the 2nd topic is much appreciated. Thank you.
:dolphin: :dolphin:


...เกรงใจที่จะรัก...
...ขออกหักเลยดีกว่า...



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